@katherine "telegram, sir"
"Wh... Do you know what damn time it is???"
"Yes sir, I'm aware. I also got paid way more money than it was worth to refuse so we're both up this early. Telegram reads: what you doin babe thirsty for some hot lead filling, stop. Come by the church, right now, stop. My cattle aren't home, stop.'
"... Does it really say that?"
"Verbatim, no sir. He was exceedingly drunk so I had to do some editing to make it legible. And less lurid."