Saying “no offense” will never work just say what you mean
@Linda Me to a cop trying to arrest me: "No offence, officer!"
Officer: "Uh... you... you stole from that business right in front of me. I literally caught you red handed."
Me: "Yeah but, no offence."
Cop: "no that literally IS an offence. criminal at that!"
Me: "ah-ah-ah! Nope, I said No Offence."
Cop to other cop: "...c-...can they do that??"
Other cop: *panicking* "I... I gotta call this in, shit..."
