So I saw the Sonic movie yesterday, and it was bad

I don't watch much of these "fish out of water cgi animal buddy movies" and I think I'll continue not to if this is the norm. Sonic wasn't even the main character.

ideas if I had to write a Sonic movie where the mandate is it's live action.

Change cop main character to park ranger. Remove all the copoganda.

The central conflict could be about the government or a horrible business encroaching upon protected wilderness. Protecting the world against rampant industrialization and habitat destruction is pretty Sonic-core, especially for the earlier games.

Make Sonic competent. The appeal of Sonic as a children's power fantasy is he knows what he's doing

@Farlow wait the main character is a fuckin' cop?? jeez. fuck that noise. Sonic would never work with cops. ROBOTNIK would. I mean the fucker LITERALLY HAS "SWAT Bots" in the SatAM show. Sonic though? Fuck that noise, he'd spraypaint ACAB on each cop's face in bright yellow car paint before they could blink. ESPECIALLY before they could blink.

@Nine
Yep, the human lead who feels like the main character is a cop. He's presented as being a wholesome and integral part to his small town, and his main motivation in the film is to work for the San Francisco police department to see "real" action.

The film ends with this moral that you should appreciate what you have and not leave your home even if you feel it's stifling your growth.

@Farlow oh... my god. every single part of that message is awful and totally against anything that IS Sonic the Hedgehog and holy fuuuuuuuuccckkk im gonna barf.

@Farlow on the upside I am now certain I definitely don't want to watch it no matter how hilarious some of the bits might end up being because Jim Carrey is kinda a creep even if he does a fantastic take on Robotnik and sure the CG of Sonic seems great now but it came at the cost of the entire VFX team getting crunch worked half to death then fired as a "reward" for their efforts, and also fuck that bs trite garbage "message"

@Nine
yeah, and jim carrey's performance was a highlight probably because the rest was so mediocre or worthless. In the grand scheme of things, I won't be singing his praises because he was being Jim Carrey more than he was being robotnik.

They added this bizarre quirk where he'd make robotic motions and mouth mechanical noises while moving sometimes. It wasn't really funny.

@Farlow I did watch one clip that was hilarious and that was Sonic pushing the two human characters off a roof so they don't get missiled to explodeyness by Robotnik and that was hilarious, and it's even funnier knowing that the MC is a cop too now and honestly that's about all I need of the movie tbqh now.

@Nine
that bit is really funny and so key to his incompetence. because of the irl setting, it boggles the mind the the two he pushed didn't go "YO WHAT THE HELL", and also their descent looks so fake. It's hilarious.

@Farlow rofl yeah. I mean Robotnik's reaction of "...not what I expected, but eh, I can work with that" pretty much sold it too, just like, wow were you TRYING to make robotnik look like the good guy here?

@Nine
a weak case could be made for robotnik ultimately being in the right, the weakness stemming from the movie having cartoon-ass sequences where he's reveling in being a sanitized version of evil (something that plays much better in an animated format!).

Sonic is the main cause of a lot of harassment and damage in the movie. He gets national attention because he causes an emp-like effect that powers down the pacific northwest

@Nine
there's this bit I would cut out of the movie where Sonic really wants to go to this country bar and do people things. By the end, he's caused a cartoon-y bar brawl and irreparable damage to the establishment. I'll be a broken record, in a cartoon this would look funny, but in the live action format there isn't enough to divorce my stupid adult mind from how sonic destroyed a business because he wanted to do human things but fast

@Farlow holy crap everything about this movie is just awful garbage why did they even think about doing a live action film in the first pl-oh right . money. and basically just "it'll appeal to kids" without any thought beyond that, slapdashing a buncha shit together in a cynical attempt to make money ._.;