Print your two weeks’ notice at work to establish dominance.
@gekko also use the super expensive colour printer, jazz it up with wordart and clipart and high res jpegs to use the maximum amount of ink, and print off several different versions, study them all, decide which is the best one to use then accidentally print them all off again six times, before making an ENTIRELY NEW one, that's even MORE extravagant, losing it, then printing one that LOOKS blaack and white but each requires all the colours even if it's got a black ink cartridge.
@gekko bonus points if you make use of letterheaded business stationery, email signatures and also really high quality photopaper to do it