@LilyVers explicitly told me not to do this. her exact words were:

> you will find knowledge moving forward, but it will bring no comfort, no wealth, no power, no pleasure. there is no one at the end of this shadowy path who will reward your sacrifice, no pleased smile or soft lips or kind, slender hands to soothe your broken body, your reaved mind. ahead lies only ruin. ahead lies a Pyrrhic satisfaction. ahead lies a pit whose sides are slick, and you, seeker, you dare to think you carry a rope long enough to climb out. TURN BACK.

so, anyway, here's