This is one for those of you who are trauma-centered like me.

My wife just came home really angry at something from work. Like REALLY angry. Straight to yelling at me and the kids. Yelling about how the house is messy and makes her sick. etc.

Normally I internalize this as my fault. My mom was bipolar and borderline and everything was my fault and I was responsible for my little sister's safety. So usually when this happens, I get really hot and make the kids clean and do all the things to try to make her happy, and I end up getting stressed at the kids because they're not cleaning fast enough, and it's all badness.

But not today!

I said "Okay, you need to go out of the house and do something. Go eat, go to the gym, whatever. You need to go take care of yourself. I will make dinner and clean with the kids but this went straight to darkness and we don't need that."

And she looked at me like I was crazy.

And then went to the gym.

I'm extremely proud of myself right now. I have never done that before.