Is there value in a formal diagnosis? As far as I've been able to find, there's no treatment, there's nothing that will change the way my brain works. It seems like it's just getting a (fairly subjective) stamp of approval. And my GP is sort of an asshat, I won't even talk to him about sleep issues, I certainly wouldn't bring up something like this. Are there benefits I haven't found?
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
In the US, as an adult, possibly not. There are no supports for us, only stigma.
That said, I got a formal diagnosis because I was anxious about being a fraud. The validation was enormously helpful to me.
OK, I can see that. I'm not 100% sure this is me - although I tick most of the boxes on the "signs of" checklists. And thinking about this has made a lot of the last 50+ years make sense, where it didn't before. When I first heard of Asperger Syndrome, I wondered. Reading here, I find there are names for things about me (hyperlexia) that I didn't have before.
I'm 99% sure. I think 99% might be enough. Now I'm dealing with the self-image adjustment.
@ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic
Seriously, impostor syndrome seems to be extremely prevalent in un-diagnosed autistic people.
Even diagnosed people seem to go through it from time to time, since science is kind of sketchy and professionals have uneven skills, even an official dx is not sure to bring you peace of mind.
Not trying to push you one way or another, just know your doubts might still remain after dx.
Mind you, I'm probably getting an assessment anyway.
@ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic Someone on Mastodon wisely observed that if you talk to #actuallyautistic people and the things they say about their struggles and experiences sound exactly like yours, there's probably a reason for that.
@lmgenealogy @ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic oh yeah. Totally. My youngest son was diagnosed at 3 years old and as I observed his behavior growing up I was like...wait...was this me at his age? I think it was.
He apparently had a lot of internal dialogue that he later described to me when he was more verbal and able to communicate and I was like. Oh.
I never realized I had those same internal dialogues or outward behavior.
I thought I just had social anxiety, but desperately wanted to connect with people who ultimately thought my behavior was weird.
Now I'm like...ok, it's really cool that he gets a jump start on building coping skills and communication. It took me forever to obtain that.
@lmgenealogy @ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic Ah, yes. The classic "Either autistic people have to stop being so relatable or I should probably talk to my therapist."
@joshsusser @ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic Lol! Yes, that’s what we’re known for, isn’t it? Being so relatable.
@ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic
I don't really mind if I would be medically diagnosed as #actualautistic or not. I recognise so many traits in me and family members that I have enough to be getting on with. I understand the need for confirmation by many people, but once retired from work I am not sure what the benefit is.
@ScottSoCal @f1337 @actuallyautistic It's a tough call. In many ways I'm glad I got confirmation of my 99% certain self dx.
That self awareness & understanding of why life was so hard was vitally important. In many ways it's helped me access the limited support & some understanding.
Why I think you might consider only self DX & forgo officialdom's stamp.
Well because seriously harmful myths are held by just about everyone on what autism is. Most hurtfully & surprisingly are the "experts" & other medical staff.
A psychologist who was providing support for chronic pain & disability wrote in their final letter that autistic people don't have emotions!
You'll find that even if you're doing the same job you've always done post DX you'll often be viewed as incompetent or incapable. Perhaps you'll find someone who understands & accepts you & your unique flavour of autism but they'll be rare.
I would say knowing thyself is important & stick with it. Having a DX can give leeway in situations but it also conjures up ignorant prejudice in others.
I'm glad I found out in my late 30s & I'm loud & proud about being autistic but it's not for everyone. One thing I guarantee once you start to connect with others like you, you'll no longer feel alone & weird & instead have millions of people around the world who just get you. That alone is worth it.
Best of luck in your journey of self discovery. Trust in yourself. Nobody wants to find out they've got a delayed developmental condition but it's so much more than that. There are aspects of being autistic that make all the struggle worth it.
One being that there are so many incredible, kind & intelligent autistic folk out there. Follow the #ActuallyAutistic # to connect with some of the finest.
@ScottSoCal
Ah!
"I tick most of the boxes"
"I wonder"
"Not 100% sure"
Welcome, Scott! Welcome!
This place is called "Impostor Syndrome Cave", and people like you and me, "possibly" un-dx'd autistics, spend a whole lot of time!
When you see a list of autistic traits and you don't check one of them, you go back to the bottom of the cave!
It's like a roller-coaster, but you push the cart yourself uphill and don't quite enjoy the ride down.
But still, welcome!
😉
@f1337 @actuallyautistic