I'm totally in my element, and hubs is feeling railroaded. Another day in my life.
We've talked about an EV for months, we've looked, I knew what he likes. So I bought him one last week. Yesterday I got the plug installed and ordered the charger for the garage - delivered tomorrow. This morning I told him I need the details on the power rate plan we're on; what rates are charged at which time of day.
1/2
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
I announced, he decided not to hear.
I'm in my element because this is about specifications and operation and mechanical/electronic things. He goes by subjective reviews and impressions.
[shrug] The math worked.
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
He looks for subtext and hidden meaning (and what he'd do if our positions were reversed), and decides that's what I *actually* meant. He's done this for 31 years.
What I actually meant is what I said. If I'd meant something else, I'd have said something else. He has trouble with that concept.
@ScottSoCal @Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
My husband and I have a similar dynamic when it comes to making decisions.
I'm pretty decisive. He's not. It creates problems!
I think my husband finds the unknown factors in making decisions really difficult to handle. I have an easier time going "Oh, well, I've got as much data as I'm going to get so I'm just going to take a chance now."
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
Ugh, it so annoying when people don't believe that you actually mean what you say π
It seems to bother you quite a lot. So, what do you want to do about it?
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
Hubs and I have a complicated relationship, for historical reasons. I think he anticipates me taking some decisive action (like divorce) that I don't plan to take. The car confuses and upsets him because if our positions were reversed, he wouldn't have done it, and he doesn't understand why I did.
I did it because it's the rational thing to do, it benefits both of us.
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic this sounds really complicated.
Sorry, I might be wrong, but somehow I got the impression that you buying the car was not purely the rational thing to do. There may be some part in you that wants him to be confused. Or maybe you try to provoke an argument that might lead to him making a clear decision.
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
Now you're trying to read subtext into what I'm saying. And you're doing it with what you already know is a small subset of all the data. I'm not sure how that's productive.
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic I said I might be wrong. You're right that I don't know you and don't have sufficient data. Was just giving my impression as I thought it might be worth considering the idea. But I really don't want to bother you.
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic What could help him hear?