@actuallyautistic

I'm totally in my element, and hubs is feeling railroaded. Another day in my life.
We've talked about an EV for months, we've looked, I knew what he likes. So I bought him one last week. Yesterday I got the plug installed and ordered the charger for the garage - delivered tomorrow. This morning I told him I need the details on the power rate plan we're on; what rates are charged at which time of day.

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@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
I can see that it might be annoying when decision making takes so long. Still, I feel it might have helped to announce the changes. And I wonder if a different communication could have helped: "I was wondering... Now that we have an EV, it might be useful to know at what time charging is least expensive. Do you have any thoughts on that? What is a good time to talk about this?" This way, you create an interest instead of demanding sth.

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

I announced, he decided not to hear.

I'm in my element because this is about specifications and operation and mechanical/electronic things. He goes by subjective reviews and impressions.
[shrug] The math worked.

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

He looks for subtext and hidden meaning (and what he'd do if our positions were reversed), and decides that's what I *actually* meant. He's done this for 31 years.
What I actually meant is what I said. If I'd meant something else, I'd have said something else. He has trouble with that concept.

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
Ugh, it so annoying when people don't believe that you actually mean what you say πŸ™„

It seems to bother you quite a lot. So, what do you want to do about it?

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

Hubs and I have a complicated relationship, for historical reasons. I think he anticipates me taking some decisive action (like divorce) that I don't plan to take. The car confuses and upsets him because if our positions were reversed, he wouldn't have done it, and he doesn't understand why I did.
I did it because it's the rational thing to do, it benefits both of us.

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic this sounds really complicated.

Sorry, I might be wrong, but somehow I got the impression that you buying the car was not purely the rational thing to do. There may be some part in you that wants him to be confused. Or maybe you try to provoke an argument that might lead to him making a clear decision.

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@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

Now you're trying to read subtext into what I'm saying. And you're doing it with what you already know is a small subset of all the data. I'm not sure how that's productive.

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@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic I said I might be wrong. You're right that I don't know you and don't have sufficient data. Was just giving my impression as I thought it might be worth considering the idea. But I really don't want to bother you.

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