I have been highly masking for more than 20 years which led me into #autisticburnout and made me suicidal.
So, by need of survival, I mask a little less in some situations.
I'm out to some ppl. Most try to be compassionate and understanding, but still I get a lot of FB like "Come on, it's not that bad. Just relax. Why can't you be more X and less Y?" etc, esp. by my husband.
I can't do it anymore, but I'm so afraid they find out how weird, awkward, weak and pathetic I am.
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
"I'm so afraid they find out how weird, awkward, weak and pathetic I am"
It's possible they might think that - I know that's one of my biggest fears. It's also possible they fear the same thing, and will be weird and awkward with you, if you let them.
I spent 10 days with a co-worker on a business trip, in another country. We'd never spoken, and she didn't have a good opinion of me before we left. Now she considers me a friend. She can relax around me.
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
I've been unable to discern who are okay and who are not and I get tired of having to explain myself over and over.
So I've defaulted into one of two modes: close up completely or overshare.
@LeatherCubAndrew @ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
Similar for me. I have gotten a *little* better in discerning, but rather tend to close up than being rejected again.
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic
It's really encouraging that you had such an experience.
Many people like me (today). Many share their problems and secrets with me because they know I'm not judgmental. But I'm very careful about what to share with whom. I've had too many experiences of rejection when I became too weird. A little weird is okay, until you're the freak.