Long - sharing self reflection and asking for your own experiences
Does anyone else have the issue where you don't know how to respond to big news if it's given without emotion? More detail below.
Observations:
- I have had many fucked up things happen in my life.
- I often react to information others consider huge nonchalantly.
- recently I realized the pattern. I only do this for people who do not convey their feelings while sharing news. For people who express their feelings visibly I do not have this issue. And I suspect that I have bias towards nonverbal expression of feelings, like crying or big eyes etc.
- I am a high masking autistic whose trauma is very ingrained in always being aware of the unspoken energy around me and how to keep myself safe from negative energies.
- I am also a human who only has some autistic traits, and some allistic traits, and some autistic traits that I don't know how to allow myself to accept.
- I accidentally have been making my bf (autistic) feel very unvalued due to not responding aggressively to very huge things for him that seem matter of fact for me, but then when his brother (idk) told me THE SAME THINGS much more emotionally I finally get it.
Theory:
I feel like all these things are elements in a recipe for my exact issue. But I'm not sure if this specific issue is an autistic, masking, or allistic one.
Question:
Anybody else? Or anybody have an opposite experience? Heck, anybody have TIPS?
@actuallyautistic but open to all obv just remove the guppe tag if you're not trying to engage it in your answer
re: Long - sharing self reflection and asking for your own experiences
I may be misinterpreting, but it reads as if your version of masking is to get your emotional response cues from others.
*Everyone else is excited about this, for me to fit in I must be excited, too.*
There are situations where I fall back on a script, but that's where the emotions are either too big, or too intensely personal for me to respond. Like someone tells me their loved one died.
re: Long - sharing self reflection and asking for your own experiences
@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic YES I think this is exactly what's happening. Because if I share what I actually feel it's usuwa burden for others. Thanks for blowing the case wide open 👍🏼👍🏼💛💛