Hello, I'm Yuki. I am #OpenlyAutistic #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic
I am currently struggling with my emotions that, for some reason, I no longer have control over, and it is so intense, I sometimes cry while walking just thinking about how my mom is struggling with her daily life, while waiting for her eye operation.
My entire life, I was #Spock. But for the past month or so, I've been Spock the human.
I never thought I will need a support group one day, since I've learned to live masking and find ways. But, right now, I definitely need a support group. And I am trying to find one locally that I can join physically. And just cry, and just share, to just be me, someone who will listen.
None of my usual calming methods and tics are working anymore. The emotions are just too intense, I have no idea how to put the lid back on it.
So, yeah, I'm Yuki.
@youronlyone@c.im @actuallyautistic @autistics @youronlyone@firefish.social it's nice to meet you! we have a lot in common. for me, I also crave community to feel affirmed in my experiences, but for me the details involved in that are a bit too much at the moment
I'm a writer and a teacher, and during my summer off, I worked a lot on my emotions, and I feel a little more stable. I wish you some ease of mind with what you're going thru, and please know you're not alone ๐๏ธ โฎ๏ธ โค๏ธ โ
@seanwithwords Yep! I crave for community. Even if I'm just an observer, somewhere in a corner, people watching, it's like "I exist, I am not invisible, I am not an alien" (although I joke about being an alien or a human from a parallel earth).
Now that you mentioned it, maybe this "new normal" (a.k.a. isolation) is getting on me. Even at work, I had expectation of interaction, but unfortunately, everyone's too focus.
I still prefer to be alone. But not alone wherein there are no more interactions with other people. I can join a small community, but not concert-like crowds.
Does that make sense? I sound contradictory. ^^;;
Not contradictory, just autistic. I miss having people I can talk to - really talk to. But I also hate crowds, parties, nearly ever kind of social gathering. I don't know, maybe if there was a party just for NT people.
@seanwithwords @actuallyautistic @autistics @youronlyone@firefish.social
