@Bette
I did an active listening course when I volunteered on an LGBTQ+ helpline which was a real eye opener for me. Apparently sharing something of your own in solidarity isn't a good technique as it shifts focus from the person's issue onto yourself so they'll feel that you're more interested in yourself than you are in supporting them right now. I don't anyways remember in the thick of it but the better response would be more along the lines of "mmmm [open question about how they felt about that]" - basically, they want their own feelings to be heard and acknowledged outside their own head. It'll be your turn to talk about you another time!
@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
While that may be useful for NT people, for many ND people, this is how we show empathy. We relate it to something we've experienced that also made us feel [happy/sad/grief/lonely/excited]. It isn't about "look at me", it's "I understand, and I feel for you".
@ScottSoCal @extraneous @Bette @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic also, people saying "you have voluntarily given me information, here is a request for more information you did not choose to volunteer" can feel a lot like "I have no understanding of what you're expressing, you're on your own until you explain more"