I'm trying to figure out something about dealing with /avoiding conflict.
When I'm in conflict with someone, I'll often avoid confronting them, because I don't trust them. I might like them, but I don't trust their ability to respond appropriately.
I find that honest conversations mean making myself vulnerable to some extent, and if someone has hurt me, or is annoyed with me, it doesn't feel safe to be that vulnerable.
I reserve conversations like that for people who are very close to me, that I trust, like my husband and my father.
I usually hide my anger and annoyance, because it feels like they don't deserve to see my honest emotions.
But I don't think this is a healthy strategy.
It sounds like a variation on my coping mechanism. I'm always ready to walk away, no matter who it is or how much space I've created for them in my life. Enough times of figuring out I wasn't as important to someone else as they were to me, and I just decided no one is indispensable. It's my self-protection, as messed up as it may be.
