Been thinking about smiling/not smiling as masking. Yesterday I had a meeting with a colleague, me being tired. Suddenly I realized I'm not smiling and wondered whether I would've smiled in this situation when I didn't understand I'm autistic. I might've forced a smile before but now I didn't feel like smiling so I didn't. This wasn't the first time I realized I'm not smiling while the situation is such that it'd be "desirable" that I do smile.
On the other hand, I've understood that I've started unmasking even before I knew I was masking by smiling when I feel like it walking down the street. I might be just happy, see something nice, or maybe think about something amusing. People don't usually smile on their own and I've recognized this impulse to hide one's smile.
@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic
I've pretty much given up on all expressions tbat aren't genuine. It doesn't always go down well, anymore than my increasing refusal to even try to undulge in pointless conversation. But then I've also pretty much given up caring about what people like that think too. A privilege of age and gender presentation I fear.
@pathfinder @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic
Yes, I think men get away with not smiling more than women. I can relate to smiling when I’m not with anyone. If I’m in a good mood, think of something funny or sweet, see something nice, I’ll smile. But I’ve given up for I g smiles to be “nice”.
Within the last 12 months I heard someone use that tired old sexist line about a woman (a co-worker) should smile more, to get along in the workplace.
She's a PhD mechanical engineer, she doesn't have to smile if she doesn't want to.
@Susan60 Argh, misogyny in action. Wouldn't be surprised if she was told to smile more.
@LehtoriTuomo @ScottSoCal @pathfinder
I suspect they wouldn’t dare now.
@ScottSoCal Ugh, I agree, she doesn't. No one should have to. It's a strange world -- one's skills aren't important, playing the game in right way is.
@ScottSoCal @pathfinder @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic
We had a female politician make a comment on a state budget & get asked what on earth she would know about economics. She left her job as an economics professor to enter parliament. Not sure if she got told to smile more.