Do you guys also combine almost pathological conflict avoidance - and the brilliant talent to create a conflict out of nothing just trying to explain your point of view or to point out some factual error another person made while talking about your special interest?
I don’t defend myself, I don’t tell I don’t like something or that I see that I am being taken advantage of or being lied to, or that someone hurts me - I never raise a voice and tell that, or question them, or demand my rights and all - because I am terribly afraid on conflicts. Not even that I won’t be liked, or that there’s going to be some consequence or anything. Just a conflict itself. I’m scared even when there’s a conflict that doesn’t include me nearby, but even the shadow of an idea that something I may say may create a conflict makes me go silent, and just dodge and tolerate more, doesn’t matter how bad I feel.
But when just discussing something - I mean not something important, may be a birds name, a train route from 80-s, the way some thing works etc - any abstract staff that doesn’t correspond to my life in any way - especially when I clearly see the opponent is making the factual error or denying my actual experience with the topic - it does create a conflict, and people would say I am a conflicting person, I am the one who likes to just disagree and all.
Is that desire to avoid conflict at all costs - and the inability to actually spot when another person starts to see your discussion as a conflict - some #neurodivergent thing?
#autism
#AuDHD
#ADHD
@actuallyautistic
I avoid conflicts, but because I'm afraid of my own reaction - I dig in my heels and things can escalate.
I've learned to shrug it off when someone is wrong about something (factual, not opinion). Unless they're wrong many times and keep repeating it. Then I'll tell them quietly, without anyone else around. If they're still wrong after that, I write them off as too stupid to save and ignore them.
