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Folks, I have found the best shades ever. Just look at this guy. (Source: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09QXK48V9/ )
Could be more Cyclops... but they would REALLY have to try hard...
@arielmt I'm not entirely sure about having my eyes massaged, TBH, especially when it comes to being applied by near-zero cost electronics.
BTW, my search terms included neither "eye" nor "massager," so I have no idea how this dudebro turned Joker victim ended up in my results.