introspective, lewdish 

It's interesting how many art forms I've tried because I'm a horny girl who just wants to be beaten up. I tried 2D animation via Flipnote Studio and started a POV animation of me getting beaten up by a sexy woman. I played with SFM and immediately started hunting down an Ahri model to do similar with. I've tried writing not-necessarily-lewd boxing stories before. I'm literally making a boxing game just to get beaten up by a sexy kitsune. All because I'm a horny masochist

introspective, lewd, getting into kink territory 

And an interesting thing is that it isn't explicitly sexual. Sure, there's nudity. Both the 2D animation girl and the game kitsune are topless. I was looking for a nude Ahri model that was likely to stay nude (boxing gloves aside). But there's never any actual sex. The closest thing is facesitting or breast smothering. For me, the beating and smothering *is* the sexy part. *That*'s the part I get off to. Not some strapped on sex scene

introspective, lewd, kink, tangential rape ment 

The animation was blocked out. It ends with me getting smothered in the woman's breasts. The game is intended to be a boxing game. Nothing more. If you win, she says "good job". If you lose, she taunts you. That's it. The only time I've written sex into a beating, it was in the context of a thinly veiled me being raped. I don't treat the masochism as *part* of the pleasure, but as *the* pleasure, the entire thing I'm here for.

introspective, lewd, kink 

And this probably says a lot about me. It's probably something to confront, to play with. But, that was never the point of this thread. It was kinda just a vague rambling into the void on why I've tried various art forms. The actual deep introspection is for when I'm not drowsy from seroquel.

Anyways, maybe you found this interesting or informative. Maybe it's given you something to think about. I know it has me.

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introspective, lewd, kink 

So, the other day, I mentioned a lot of different art forms I'd tried because "I'm a horny girl who just wants to be beaten up," but there is one I forgot to mention because I forgot why I started: just normal drawing. Sure, ostensibly, it was because I was offered the choice of art or band in 6th grade and mom wouldn't let me do band, but if you look at the earliest drawings I did *for myself*, they're all pictures of Silver The Hedgehog beating up the viewer (read: me)

introspective, lewd, kink 

Like, doing art has pretty much always been a way for me to play with kink, no matter what it is. Sure, with all these art forms I've tried, I've done various things with them, but they all end up being used to satisfy (or, rather, attempt to satisfy) my masochistic desire to be beaten up. So, yeah. An interesting thing to add on to that pile of stuff to deal with.

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