mh (-), sui
Well, if today wasn't the shittiest day. Still broken after last night's realization that I'm not okay, this was a very bad start to the day. For the first time in a while, I've had serious suicidal thoughts and have wanted to self harm all day. When the internet broke, I lost hope of having a good day due to hanging out with friends cheering me up. And when it came back, a friend's mental issues and me accidentally triggering them trashed the benefit of hanging out. Fuck this shit.
mh (-), sui
At this point, all I can do is cling to not self-harming or killing myself. I'm having to actively fight many urges, urges that are very strong right now. The urge to self harm. The urge to kill myself. The urge to isolate myself from the friend group this happened in. The urge to run away and never come back.
It's hard when all I want is to fucking die.
Re: mh (-), sui
I think I'm doing better now. It's still gonna be rough going forward, but I'll make it through. I always do.