So a friend and I are tossing back and forth hilariously oversimplified summaries of video games. I am particularly proud of this one.
Final Fantasy 4: "A knight decides what clothes to wear. There are several thousand casualties."
@Felthry super mario bros: mario picks up his girlfriend from the spa
@typhlosion You really don't even have to try with Mario. "Surprisingly athletic middle-aged plumber thwarts evil turtle" is already ridiculous enough.
@Felthry that's why i tried simplifying it even further
kirby's dream land: kirby eats the rich
@typhlosion @Felthry Do More???
Pokemon: preteens participate in state sanctioned animal fighting.
Link's Awakening: Young boy is killed by chickens.
TES5 Skyrim: "Random foreigner wins at yelling."
Assassin's Creed: "Man in ancient near east takes up BASE jumping. No one notices or cares."
Bastion: "Lovable old man tells stories around the campfire."
Half Life: "Unexpected devleopments in his field lead a young physicist to discover new talents."
Ys I: Foreign swordsman discovers his true calling as a librarian
Spyro series: Young dragon recovers lost treasure, gives it all to ursine con artist.
Kingdom Hearts: ???? ?? ??????? ? ?????????? ?? ?????
@typhlosion @ajr @Terrana @Felthry Metroid: A bounty hunter gets misgendered and then adopts an alien baby
@typhlosion @vahnj @Felthry @ajr
Undertale: "Executive meddling ruins popular TV show."
@Terrana @typhlosion @vahnj @ajr
Star Ocean 3: Computers become sentient, seek peace.
@Felthry @ajr @typhlosion @Terrana Breath of Fire 3: a goddess murders her children because she doesn't like them
@vahnj @Felthry @ajr @typhlosion That's basically half of world mythology right there.
@Terrana @Felthry @ajr @typhlosion Secret of Mana: a sword and a tree made you. use your dad to murder the bad guys.
@vahnj @typhlosion @ajr @Terrana Tales of Xillia: Everyone wants to kill you because you're literally a god.
@Terrana @ajr @typhlosion @vahnj
Baten Kaitos: A group of adventurers discover that the ocean exists.
@vahnj @Felthry @Terrana @ajr @typhlosion Half-Life 2: One man's journey to stop aliens from kinkshaming.
@boots @Terrana @ajr @typhlosion @vahnj Dwarf Fortress: Short ethanol-fuelled von Neumann machines make lots of weird stuff, fight off eldritch abominations.
@boots @Felthry @Terrana @ajr @typhlosion Heavy Rain: enjoy drinking juice for six hours straight