meta, mh, energy (-/~)
this masto-centric space i’m in, like, my following list is organic but it’s a high concentration of people that make me think and feel really intensely. i want to reply to everything, i hit the character limit repeatedly.
because i’m in a timeplace where i’m fitting together stuff and it feels gREAT
I GOTTA WRITE. then: i gotta fit this in the space. gotta be not-annoying. whoops my feelings are complicated. i deplete my executive energy deciding what to write. (cont.)
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
thanks again to people who make me think, i’m using up so much energy at times trying to sort out and explain myself. nothing is as straightforward as how it is stated. mentally, i’m wandering in a maze. i can get through it, but the abstraction of experiences and thoughts to words is tiring.
sometimes there’s so little energy that i can’t sleep. but i love writing about stufffff. weird experiences deserve to be talked about.
so anyway, i can’t sleep.
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
writing is a good way of sorting things out. i can figure something out, then when i write it i sound so certain, so experienced.
nooOOOooo, i literally just learned a thing, a lot of the time?
also i’m not complaining? just observing? myself?
i talk a friggin lot and go off on tangents that have tangents and it’s weird. what i want is to not be taking up more space than i need to, but like, the guilt of this is LOTS.
all this contributes to the exhaustion
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
@heytanuki hi, I understand <3
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
@coda aaaa thank thaaaank
there’s a constant struggle between “don’t do some things” (but i wanna do all the things) and “segment all the things” (but i wanna just have one account) and “no one cares, you’re fine” and “aaaaaa my brain is going down for reboot but a process won’t stop”
if twitter is like screaming into a void, this is like softly speaking to a group of friends quietly empathizing. i don’t wanna break that. this is a silly fear but. *flailing*
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
@heytanuki *hugs* I think you're doing just fine as you are, but I can understand your worries.
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
@coda *hugs* i really do appreciate it! thanks for your understanding and empathy 💖 ✨
meta, mh, energy (-/~)
(i’m trying to post these continuations as “unlisted,” does that work well? i just wanna not have my 120 replies be like, a big block of tiring things)