thanks again to people who make me think, i’m using up so much energy at times trying to sort out and explain myself. nothing is as straightforward as how it is stated. mentally, i’m wandering in a maze. i can get through it, but the abstraction of experiences and thoughts to words is tiring.

sometimes there’s so little energy that i can’t sleep. but i love writing about stufffff. weird experiences deserve to be talked about.

so anyway, i can’t sleep.

writing is a good way of sorting things out. i can figure something out, then when i write it i sound so certain, so experienced.

nooOOOooo, i literally just learned a thing, a lot of the time?

also i’m not complaining? just observing? myself?

i talk a friggin lot and go off on tangents that have tangents and it’s weird. what i want is to not be taking up more space than i need to, but like, the guilt of this is LOTS.

all this contributes to the exhaustion

@heytanuki hi, I understand <3

@coda aaaa thank thaaaank

there’s a constant struggle between “don’t do some things” (but i wanna do all the things) and “segment all the things” (but i wanna just have one account) and “no one cares, you’re fine” and “aaaaaa my brain is going down for reboot but a process won’t stop”

if twitter is like screaming into a void, this is like softly speaking to a group of friends quietly empathizing. i don’t wanna break that. this is a silly fear but. *flailing*