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i think twitter's robots.txt parser is just wrong and i'll have to live with twitter being the only website that doesn't embed my opengraph cards correctly
and if anyone's thinking it, the robots.txt file was originally without asterisks, i only added them after noticing it didn't like it. i also tried changing the order of allow/disallow (which canonically shouldn't matter) and twitter still thinks it's not allowed to load that url
even discord gets it right