how do you get started in kink/bdsm spaces if you don't know anybody? it seems like everybody publicly visible about kink is years-old established in it and there's no welcoming space for newbies who don't have the right connections. who do you go to if you need the hand-holding?
@rabbit assume i am a purely digital being who does not exist outside your monitor
@mavica_again that can honestly be a lot harder unless you know the right people. which I don’t like either to be honest
the answer is unfortunately probably still fetlife groups until you find one that also maintains like, a local discord server or what have you
@mavica_again Gotta go to the munch.
@mavica_again I know there are some events in my city that welcome newbs; never been to one, but a friend has. It’s not a super big city, but bigger than a town
@GoatJamesAz unfortunately we should've specified in the post we're talking about exclusively digital spaces
@mavica_again ah, then yeah no idea. I guess the limited interaction I’ve had in that respect can be boiled down to “act like you belong”. But then again, that hasn’t really been a great approach to actually feeling part of the community
@GoatJamesAz i'm glad at least now i've had two people corroborate me in "yeah that's just how it is"
@mavica_again Been watching this with similar interests, shame to see the same outcome.
@wifewolf it's at least cathartic to know that we're not the only ones stuck in the situation and that actually it sucks for other people too
@mavica_again tbh I just sorta found folk with like, discord servers and followed folk on socials, shared some of my own stuff after a while
i'm not exactly like, a big name but it has let me get some comms and make some friends just sorta vibing and looking for folk into similar things at least
(disclaimer, i'm moreso involved in furry kink spaces than bdsm stuff but still)
@8bitdemongirl unfortunately that has never worked for anyone we know or ourselves. glad to hear you're having fun though!
@mavica_again local scenes often put on a slosh or munch that’s meant to help people socialize and get into the scene, which are usually advertised in places like fetlife. our local one has designated “guides” who wear nametags and help you meet similar people.