apparently my body stopped trying to do the "circadian rhythm" thing completely.

my cats' rhythm is also messed up, probably because i slept through their cries for food a few times too many. everything is not good

i spend so much time in bed. first a couple of hours trying to fall asleep. then sleeping. then i wake up, feed the cats... and take several hours to fall asleep again. if you spend 14-16 hours in bed every day there's not much of a day left

it's excruciating. lying in bed fucking still hurts, it's a lot better with the soft mattress but my joints still sublux & dislocate. there's no position that doesn't hurt.
then i'm too tired to get up again but i can't sleep anyway.

or the other fun thing, when my body randomly decides 3 hours of sleep was enough and i can't any more, but am too exhausted to do anything whatsoever that day, so i just hang around, too tired to even do some housework.

and now my body has completely scrapped the ~ 24 hour rhythm that i had enforced with melatonin supplements, that means i get tired at 5-6 in the mornings

which is very "interesting" because i regularly have medical appointments in the mornings. so i get up after 1-4 hours of sleep and then after i come home i go to bed again, take several hours to fall asleep, still don't get enough sleep to be able to do things afterwards