maple classic™ 
mh -, advice ok but be gentle
i wish i didn't have such a visceral depressive reaction to just thinking about certain people because i know it's irrational and they haven't done anything against me and i'm just envious of them and i feel guilty about it and it makes me distance myself from half the fediverse
mh -, advice ok but be gentle
i don't know how to fix this on my own.
mh -, advice ok but be gentle
i want to get better. i want to not have to mute so many people out of envy. but it hurts so much and i don't know how to fix it
mh -, advice ok but be gentle
sometimes i literally start hyperventilating and crying the moment these thoughts pop into my head
mh -, advice ok but be gentle
i swear im trying to be a better person
im sorry im not