i taught myself programming (starting with LOGO, QuickBasic and mIRC Script) from reading the documentation. i understand data structures and know all the terminology needed to pick up a language.

so why is it that i cannot drill shaders into my head? it feels like the same mental block i have to music theory, i just look at the steps to set up anything shader-related and immediately give up on it and feel inferior to anyone who shows off their shader toys