maple classic™ 
i love being waken up into a semi panic attack by my grandmother pounding on my door at 10am because she needs batteries replaced
it's a wonder they use a name for me at all, not so much a surprise it's the wrong one
please take my family away and give me a better one
@squirrel uncle sundog checking in with his favorite sqrlbunbot 
this is what i am. the live-in 24/7 on-call tech support. lower than a human being