maple classic™ 
mh -
i feel like i can't do anything without someone holding my paw and guiding me through it
somehow i haven't always been like this or somehow it's selective, because i did plenty of stuff by myself around 14-16 years old
now i don't do anything unless someone walks me through it or at the very least accompanies me while i do it and i wish i could fix that because i feel so utterly useless because of it
mh -
this makes me feel even worse when i see people doing solo projects all the time which is super very common here on mastodon
mh -
@squirrel there's nothing wrong with asking for help
i can write python fine and work software competently but i legit need help when it comes to doing shit like filling out forms or job applications
mh -
@colon_three i ask for help whenever i can
i just don't really get much of it when i need it the most
and it still makes me feel incompetent
mh -
@squirrel same honestly
it's why i'm on a 12 week course w/ a local charity
hopefully that makes me better at helping others out too, as well as myself
mh -
i taught myself basic from quickbasic docs alone at age 11
i wrote a whole game with it once on the sega genesis using basiegaxorz
now i can't do anything of value or substance on my own