anyway i think the moral of the tale is that the older i get, the more this wigglytuff just sees someone sobbing about how awful and unfixable and evil and bad forever they are, the more i am just likely to... not want to do that emotional labor
at some point that sort of public dramatics ends up a ploy, and no amount of soothing fluff is going to actually address the fundamental problem - of wanting to wholesale outsource emotional labor onto other people.
at the end of the day, i'm still a sucker for a redemption tale. it's my favourite kind of story in fictional media.
but so often online when i see that martyrdom play, it's not a redemption tale's start, but instead someone wanting to completely divorce themselves from all responsibility for themselves.
if you think every problem with yourself is immutable, of course it will never be fixed. in the end it's mostly people asking for permission for the next time.
admitting you have fucked up is one of the most awful feelings in the entire world. it is not fun. it is not pleasant. it's stressful and harrowing. that is why it is so tempting to just never do it.
but it's also uniquely wonderful because there is always a second chance, or third, or fifteenth, or seven hundredth. you can fuck up and still do better. *always*. always!
and this is, i think, one of the most thrilling and beautiful things to ever do.
so don't deny yourself that, folks.
that sort of over the top public self-loathing, while declaring any attempts to change useless, is just one more beat in a cycle that this wigglytuff has been in far too many times.
i still love a comeback. i have to, given how i fuck up. but a redemption has got to start with accepting responsibility for your own actions and seeking to do better, yeah?
we all fuck up. but we can all do better. that's the thrilling bit. fucking up is terrifying. *but we can all do better.* ALL of us.