me: hey, brain, it'd be useful if we could remember things like our social security number, or which way is left

my brain: no can do, i'm busy remembering other stuff

me: ...like?

my brain: like how stalin got sent to the gulag for shit cosplay, and how the cantina band in star wars plays jizz music!

me: ....

my brain: so i'm afraid you're going to just have to continue looking at your hands to do the L-for-left thing so that we don't lose any NECESSARY INFORMATION