what's bowser's endgame, anyway
show me a court where "i was literally kidnapped and married against my will" isn't grounds for divorce
@monorail bowser's endgame is participating in a happy and consensual polyamorous triad, fulfilling the kidnap-and-rescue kink of the other two triad members
...
i mean that's the only way i can make sense of it
(note: have never played a mario game)
@wigglytuffitout @monorail I've heard this theory before and tbh it's still my favorite
@InspectorCaracal @monorail i think i saw it on tumblr and it also explains why most mushroom kingdom citizens are just like "lol, there goes that bowser again"
i know the real answer is "they are not in dire panic because it's a g-rated family-friendly vibe" but i like to think all those mushroom dudes are just kinda smiling and nodding as they humor the obvious roleplay going on
"shh don't break character, think of our low tax rate and excellent public services including dental" "ok ok"
