i'm replacing horoscopes with a far more accurate test: which catz breed you adopted first when playing catz
siamese: you're worth it, and you know it. continue being vocal in what you want, because you deserve it! any time is a good time to treat yourself.
tabby: like coca-cola, vanilla ice cream, and the little black dress, you're an enduring popular personality for good reason! don't let people say you're 'too boring' - keep being yourself!
persian: it might all seem overwhelming. but remember, while others call you 'high maintenance' - self-care isn't selfish! you deserve that comfort!
maine coon: you're the chill life of the party, always ready in the back with a witty comment or an extra case of beer or an actually good rendition of wonderwall on acoustic guitar. go with the flow, but don't be taken advantage of!
calico: you're an eclectic and varied person, and although some people might dislike this, you know how to bring it all together. you're the vegemite sandwich of people, and those who hate it ain't worth your time.
russian blue: some call you cold, most call you regal. but underneath that cool and collected exterior is a lot of love. don't be afraid to let your guard down more often!
alley catz: you've been hurt before, you know... and it has made you angry. try to give yourself the compassion you deserve, and extend that to others, too - you're a diamond in the rough who just needs the slightest polish to shine!
orange shorthair: listen i have some bad news about how well you think your anxiety disorder is currently being treated NO WAIT DON'T PANIC IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY
persian: ur babey?
@wigglytuffitout What hurts is that this is what I first went with and it's 120% accurate
@wigglytuffitout the orange shorthair, I mean
black and white shorthair: your friends adore you, but are starting to become concerned with your blood pressure levels. deinstall LoL and maybe stop screaming at your TV so much.
...
aka this is where i ran out of inspirational faux horoscopes and am now just left with a stupid joke one