this whole thoughts on toxic masculinity in the minutiae reminds me of a story i heard
ww2, a dude keeps sneaking into the women's mess hall every so often
he's quiet and sits by himself and doesn't bother anyone, it's only once every few weeks, but he finally gets confronted
he replies, wearily, "i know i'm not supposed to be here, but i just wanted to have lunch where i could hear 'please pass the butter' instead of 'pass the goddamn grease'..."
note: i am sorry for this because Kipling was An Odious Motherfucker of the Highest Order who you Should Not Emulate
...even if his writing was unexpectedly a deep influence on my own
but i think between Pratchett and Brian Jacques, it may be a case of second-hand Kipling as well