lol, amp. i noticed that a page would suddenly appear after 8 seconds of waiting if i disabled js, which seemed pretty weird.

turns out that there's a css3 anim to hide the page for 8 full seconds (that is skipped when the js loads ofc).

this is *required* by the amp standard. your page fails validation if you don't do this.

sure makes these goog results look kinda suspicious, huh

lol, amp, part 27:

while ordinary websites can be "responsive" (or at least try to look good on mobile or desktop), amp can become more or less completely unusable if try to use it on a desktop! :D

google's amp would flat our 404 to non-mobile devices too lol

every image in this article (mostly a table, i.e. taller than wide) is stretched to 100% of screen width, meaning it's blown up huge and you have to scroll forever :D

while i'm laffing about amp (and lamenting the festering sewage modern web design became), here's a casual reminder that amp, by its own admission, is not for users. it's for ads.

:')

my favorite thing about amp is that it's a solution to its own problems. here is how amp "works".

1. "Execute all AMP JavaScript asynchronously"

all script tags are async so that they don't have to be waited on.
(you can do this yourself, or even better, don't use js you don't absolutely need. that means no trackers, no ads, no "hey please love us in our newsletter" spams)

2. "Size all resources statically"

if only there was some way to width="do this" height="without amp" 🤔