I am the sort to name my children Lizard and Mayonnaise. Liz, and May for short.

My first-born would be Lizard, for she would be the one to deal with people asking if Liz was short for Elizabeth.
My second-born would Mayonnaise, for there is May is not typically a shortened name, and thus she would simply have to live, knowing that her name was Mayonnaise and shamefully keeping this secret.