They come running to tell you not to call yourself "disabled" because that is disrepectful. And they don't even see their hurtful, disgusting ignorance by doing that.
Just ... please educate yourself and don't follow their disgusting lead in how to disrespect your own child and other people in general.
You could start here http://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html
Also, there are quite a few differences between (and even in) specific communities, because - wait for it - we are not all the same 👻
In Germany for example, people with what you would call "intellectual disabilities" mostly prefer the person first version "people with learning difficulties". In othter countries it's "person with an intellectual / cognitive disability".
You just learn it and respect it. It's that simple.
@Jules
Thank you, I wasn't aware of the terms "person first" and "identity first" for these things!
I'm usually (in German) fairly specific in a "person with a xxx disability" whenever it's doable, since most of the time I talk about a specific set of disabilities at a time. I'm never quite sure I get it right, of course.
(Bonus: das hilft mir auch, weil "behindert" an meiner Grundschule *das* Schimpfwort war, und ich mich deshalb vor dem isolierten Wort scheue...)