housemate just burst into my room

him: JAMES!!
me: ..yeah?
him: its not funny
me: excuse me
him: james im not KIDDING
me: ...?

he looks very worried. he hands me this torn piece of a card

him: please tell me you did it
me: ...
him: i just opened the cutlery drawer and this was on top
me: i got a spoon out the drawer ten minutes ago and there was nothing..?
him: SO DID I

it's 10 o'clock at night. nobody else is in the flat. the door is locked. the windows are closed. we are fuckin TERRIFIED