I want to buy a plague doctor mask, I bet there's enough space in the beak to fit a small air tank and an oxygen mask, you could stay underwater for like 5 minutes, imagine going swimming and seeing a plague doctor walking about like "Good morning, I cure the pestilence, hmm, yes..."
@Ivafakename "Goodness! There appears to be a huge infestation of WATER here! Can't have that!"
@Ivafakename ....a plague doctor who literally does this, prescribes bunkass but adorable and harmless "cures" to completely made up and harmless "diseases" and "conditions" jsut to make people's days better
and then when they find a patient with some real actual genuine disease they're just like "woah okay hold up here take this" and it's real medicine and genuinely helps but they're so secretive they disappear before they can be identified and rewarded for being legit good at medicine.
@Nine god, now I have to go to medical school
@Nine "Sir, have you considered possibly taking some fish oil tables?"
Fish: *bubbles*
"Hmm, yes, I see..."
@Nine "I prescribe medication in the form of those expanding sponge animals you get in capsules, look, these ones look like dinosaurs!"