me: *takes baking stone out of the oven after its first half of its first seasoning*
My brain: "hey touch it to see if it's hot"
Me: yeah o-... Wait... It's JUST come out of the oven OF COURSE it's gonna be hot!
My brain: yeah but you should check to be sure
Me: yeah okay that seems legi- WAIT NO THAT'S RIDICULOUS WHY WOULD IT NOT BE?!
my brain: I double dog dare you to touch it
Me: well I TRIPLE dog dare YOU to touch it!
My brain: you're on!
Me: wait FUCK, NO. STOP IT *grabbing own hand*