Alcohol mention 

So just noticed something. We've got a pack of alcohol free beer in our back fridge.
Not for us though, nobody here drinks beer. This is for visitors who want all the taste of a beer, but none of the inebriation, which, I know, doesn't make sense to me either because beer tastes foul, especially lager beers which is what these are. Idgi.

BUT. What grabbed my attention was the label, proudly, boldly even, proclaiming

0%
Alcohol free.

Alcohol mention 

Now, I know, thanks to many years existing in human society, that this is supposed to mean that it is alcohol free, and contains 0% alcohol, or near as physically possible.

.... But still, the part of my brain that isn't totally brainwashed by human society recognises that it ACTUALLY says that it is 0% free of alcohol.

I find myself wondering if this is either something someone just didn't ever think of, or that this is the only LEGAL way to say "alcohol free".

Alcohol and inebriation mention, also a bodily function mention 

Because, as far as I know, ALL "alcohol free" beers and lagers and so on STILL contain at least A TINY percentage of alcohol in them, but usually no more that 0.05% or some such, which makes them LEGALLY "alcohol free" as you would have to drink an absolutely ungodly amount to even get a buzz before you passed most of it as urine.

Alcohol ment. Finally done. 

I guess I could be wrong though.
I guess they might well have cracked the holy grail of chemistry and managed to make a drink with all the disgusting parts of cheap shitty lager, with none of the alcohol at all, and twice the price.

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