*slides out as if glitching through geometry to this tune* : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU5u10aqaQc
cold: reducing your personal energy use and upcycling your trash because it'll save the planet
bold: reducing your personal energy use and upcycling your trash to reduce your dependence on capitalism
gold: working together with your community to build sustainable alternative infrastructure to reduce your dependence on capitalism AND save the planet
@Nine they're on a date and they're gay
how to talk to and about trans women, transfemme¸ etc. people, and why you shouldn't say certain things. quite long, LOTS of slurs and transmisogyny
i've seen a lot of these terms used in porn, and some of them even used innocently, so i'd like to make a list of terms that most of us won't like.
obviously, i don't speak for all trans women, let alone all the people who would be personally offended by these terms. some of them might not offend others, and i might miss some.
with that being said, unless you've been told by the person you're referring to that it's okay, NEVER refer to us as:
- he, (s)he, "she", it, he/she
- shemale, ladyboy, dickgirl
- tgirl (in a vacuum, this is just an abbreviation of "trans girl", which is fine, but the connotations and context it carries make it very bad)
- tranny
- chick with a dick
- ___ with a surprise/something extra/a party trick/a trick up her sleeve
- trap (we're not "trapping" people into having sex with us...)
- futa, herm, hermaphrodite, gender bender
- "the best of both worlds"
- faggot/sissy
those are some of the worst ones. i'd also recommend that you don't say:
- "transgender" as a noun (i'm not a transgender, just like your fridge isn't a cold)
- (born/trapped) in (a man's/the wrong/a male) body
- male to female (this one is more accepted than the other ones on this list, but many, including myself, don't like it. just say "trans woman" or something.)
- "you're so brave for choosing to do this" (we don't have a choice. we didn't bravely choose to be trans. many of us see being called "brave" as belittling.)
- "when's the surgery?" (calling it "the surgery" implies that it's something of extreme importance, a rite of passage we must all go through to truly be trans. it's not. many of us don't even want "the surgery". i'd recommend you call it "SRS" or "GRS" instead, if you must refer to it, but don't ask people about what surgery they're having)
- "what were you born as?"
so what can you say, then?
- first, think: is the fact that i'm trans relevant here? it really only matters in a few circumstances. your friends at a dinner party don't need to know. just as you wouldn't say "cis woman" unless it was relevant, you needn't say "trans woman" unless it's relevant. but if you're sure it's relevant:
- trans woman, trans girl (binary people)
- transfemme, non-binary girl, enby (non-binary people)
if you absolutely *MUST* disclose the sex originally printed on our birth certificates (and this should rarely ever happen. one of the few examples is talking to a surgeon.), then say "AMAB", or "assigned male at birth".
why are there so many terms we can't use?
- many of these terms have highly sexualised connotations
- some of them insinuate that we're "actually" (or "used to be") male
- some of them were invented with the explicit intent to be slurs
- being trans is something that's quite hard to understand, and there's a lot of nuance to it
if you have any questions about why some of these are bad, reply to this post and i'll do my best to explain. please act in good faith.
yeah i'm moving over to chitter.xyz now. Soooo go there! I'm there now.