Ren - Moved to chitter.xyz @Nine@computerfairi.es

HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I AM GONNA ABUSE THIS MERCILESSLY

...

...well okay no I'm gonna... quietly, safely abuse it, and always content warn it because holy crap nobody wants to see that plastered all over their timeline making it nigh impossible to read c_c;

I must only use this power for good

*cackling like some kind of evil mastermind in their lair*

[spin]H[/spin][spin]O[/spin][spin]W[/spin][spin]D[/spin][spin]Y[/spin] [spin]P[/spin][spin]A[/spin][spin]R[/spin][spin]D[/spin][spin]N[/spin][spin]E[/spin][spin]R[/spin][spin]![/spin]

I love the silly spin and pulse bbcode stuff here.

I mean I am NEVER, EVER going to use it (primarily because OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU) but I love it so much regarldess.

I HAVE MULTIPLE REGRETS

...why and how can we have text that spins

[spin] like what does this even look like [/spin]

[pulse] or this??? [/pulse]

The long and short of this is that this is not the exact sequence of events, but basically I'm not certain "girl" fits either?? But the more I think about it, the more being a femme leaning agender/nb fits me, and the happier I am with it... I'll never pass as a girl probably, but... I dunno if I want to? Though it definitely want to be less masculine looking. So, thank you everyone for helping me get here :) <3

Me, later still: fuck what do I do now am I not trans am I fake am I just a pervert oh god
The fediverse: hey let's celebrate nb and agender folks as well because they're just as valid!
My brain, spitting out it's drink in shock: what?!
Me: *genuinely curious and intrigued* hello I would like to subscribe to this newsletter
Brain: FUCK D:{

Later~
Me: Welp, guess I'm a girl! I should really go forward with this and .. uh... Hmm...
Something.... Isn't right...
Brain: *trying to remain inconspicuous while dumping a huge vat of Dysphoria into my psyche*
Me: the fuck are you doing?!
My bastard of a Brain: the girl thing was a. DISTRACTION. }8^y I HAVE THE HAPPINESS *drives into a metaphorical lake*

Me: geez, all the masculine things about my body make me feel awful. When people refer to me as male it feels wrong somehow??
Friends: it's dysphoria
Evidence: *all pointing to a sign saying "Dysphoria, plus you may be trans"*
My brain: shit, I'm rumbled. }:/
Me: nah, surely not. I can't possibly not want to be at all masculine in any way and ohhhhhhhhh.... Fuck.

Old Friends By Darren Korb from the Transistor ost is a really great, moody track