Ren - Moved to chitter.xyz @Nine@computerfairi.es

As agreed though, the waiter, directs them to follow with a warm smile, explaining that the Master will see them now they've had a chance to sample the "rest-taur-rant Draconis"'s delights. The party blink; they'd ACTUALLY managed to forget why they were even here, they were having such a good time! There's a momentary embarassed, awkward shuffling, before they get up and follow along, thanking the waiter again.

The waiter is of course quite surprised, and a little embarrassed. Their tail flicks somewhat nervously - the Master's orders WERE pretty clear; anything the party wanted was utterly free of charge, but they are insisting so earnestly... The waiter bows, and politely declines, but after some gentle cajoling, is eventually convinced to take payment (still quite below what the normal rate would be), and dutifully places it in the lockbox for today's takings.

Finally, they call for the waiter, to make payment - the paladin insists; they cannot abide by having been so rude, and yet having been served so well and so professionally by the staff, and have eaten such wonderful food, without SOME recompense at least, and the others can't help but agree that it does warrant paying for, regardless.

The paladin even gives a sincere, heartfelt apology to the waiter personally for their conduct, feeling it right to do so.

As it turns out, all the food is perfectly edible. The paladin and Cleric are both suspicious at first, because there's no possible way such finely cooked dishes, exactly to their orders, are NOT an illusion, or cursed, or poisoned, or enchanted or drugged or SOMETHING, but no... no it's all above board, and absolutely mundane, and... absolutely beyond delicious! (they even order desserts!)

Silence reigns for several moments. The party rogue breaks it with a slight cough, and the Paladin, blushing hotly from embarassment, slowly takes their seat again. Smiling, the rogue politely orders a dish that makes their companions blink in astonishment at their friend's previously unheard of cultural expertise and knowledge, but it breaks the ice, and orders are taken, with even the Paladin pushing out the boat a little.

Raising a hand in a gentle gesture of "please wait", the waiter continues before the paladin can get more angry. "it is okay! Master said they expected you here, and to not worry about money. Comm-plee-menta-ree, for first time guests! They see you soon, but first, they ask you to please rest, is long journey, yes? Once eaten, master will see you, yes!"
With that, the waiter politely waits for their order.

Presently, the (also cute now that they think about it) waiter comes back when they've had time to look over the menus to take their order. Confusion momentarily giving way to irritation and frustration, the paladin rather brusquely demands to know where the evil dragon is. The mage who was rather enjoying the fine customer service, winces at their fellow's rudeness, but the waiter is utterly unphased, and simply smiles, replying
"Ah, you wish see master?"

Baffled, and off-balance from the sheer strangeness, the party sit down and order some drinks before they realise what's happening. But it's too late. The waiter bows, scurries off with a list in chickenscratch of what they ordered, and a (admittedly very cute) kobold in a maid uniform comes over, curtseys, and brings the exact drinks they ordered, which are ... lovely, in fact. Nothing untoward, or magical, or poisoned about them. Perfectly mundane.

Confusion of course intensifies. This is... unexpected. Kobolds in waiter and maid uniforms are bustling about, happy as anything, and one who is clearly performing the role of [i]maître d'[/i] approaches with a bright, pleasant smile, and gives a little bow, offering a seat for the whole party, already being laid out with VERY fine tableware, comfy plush seats, and lit candles. Drinks are offered from a finely written menu on fine parchment too.

The kobold sees their confusion, and gives a short, but not unpleasant barking little laugh, and in stilted and somewhat broken, but still very understandable Common explains that they get "that look" a lot, but it's okay, and for them to come inside, no need for them to wait outside, and someone will see to them soon.

Confused, but not sensing danger they couldn't deal with, the party go inside, and find... a rather plush restaurant waiting area.

Upon approaching, a kobold guard (assumedly) who is sleeping at their post, startles awake, then looks surprised, and... waves, enthusiastically??, then rushes inside for a short bit, before coming back out and beaming brightly at the adventurers, welcoming them in with an arm wave, resuming their post as if nothing is amiss.

...Despite what the villagers said about nasty kobolds, this one is positively pleasant and polite. This confusion stays their hand.

Party decides to investigate, after all the king of this land is paying real handsomely to take down a dragon, and hey, killing dragons is pretty lucrative, right? But this IS kinda weird.
One of the party remembers hearing that kobolds serve dragons usually too, and the disappearances of people ARE pretty suspect, and the kobolds might be involved!
They easily track down the kobold's lair, in a mountain nearby, like, so easily it's practically signposted.

random idea popped into my head today:

A party of adventurers in a classic fantasy get tasked to take out a dragon that's terrorising the local villages, paid handsomely by a king.

Said party see no devastation, the villages seem perfectly fine and prosperous, the few people they bother to talk to just sort of shrug in confusion at the talk of a dragon like they've never heard of one being nearby, but they do mention sightings of kobolds. no destruction, just sightings of, and disappearances.

....and it actually released today!? as in you can fuckin' buiy it???

...

...christ.

....what... the fuck?

...there's a new battletoads game?????