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also as i was reminded, it's perhaps not the programmer's fault but the design team of the game's fault for making a game where an escort quest is part of it, or marketing for thinking people like those, or whoever the ceo fuck is for allowing programmers to be forced to make escort quests.

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all programming languages should come with a built in feature that states "if escortQuest.EXISTS then TERMINATE" anbd it cannot be overridden

(this toot brought to you by various spirits requiring what is 100% an escort quest in all the worst possible ways in Sky: Children of the Light, especially in areas with enemies that can and will kick your ass immediately, and OH it JUST SO HAPPENS that said escort quest goes RIGHT THROUGH AREAS THEY PATROL and you are on a timelimit so you can't just wait it out)

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hey game programmers here's a tip for how to make escort quests in your game;

DON'T

But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.

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Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokémon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch.

If you're sad about the anti-trans attention that @rapecrisisscot@twitter.com are getting at the moment and/or you appreciate their trans-inclusive attitude, here's the link for donating to them:

justgiving.com/rapecrisisscotl

moth pickup line: "sorry for bumping into you. it's just that i think you're the light of my life"

But because of a combination of a genuinely engaging storyline, character customisation, fun, simple yet tactical battles, and the ability to CHOOSE when you get into fights, as well as anti frustration features like speeding up battles, or being able to auto win battles where the foes are significantly lower level than you, makes it not only far more tolerable, but actually fun to play... Plus the game has a very charming and fun sense of humour which has gotten genuine full laughs out of me

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Monster Hunter stories 2 is really good btw. Thought I should mention that. I don't like jrpgs, or RPGs in general really. Especially where there's any kind of slow paced, turn based battles, and ESPECIALLY if there are random encounters. I think it's for this reason it took me so long to complete any of the pokemon games until swoosh. And even then I never bothered getting the dlc, I felt just... Done with it?

Food mention 

This is simply a photo of a red salt pig; nothing more.

For those not in the know, a salt pig is a kitchen implement which stores salt, typically in sea salt flakes format, or maybe even small rock or sea salt crystals, so you can easily reach in, grab a pinch, and sprinkle it over food either post or during cooking.

Just a salt pig. Any resemblance to anything else is purely coincidence and therefore your own problem.

concluding all my incident reports with "root cause: 'out of such crooked timber as humanity is made from, nothing quite straight can be built.'"

terrible pun 

The Island of Doctor Moreau, also known as the Thirst Trap

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!