The Thot has Begone @RowanBerry@computerfairi.es

Randos: Why do you like Monogatari Series it's so gross. Just watch something with artistic value smh

Monogatari Series:

Witchy Tips #8: Always remember that nobody knows what they're doing~

Seriously, flossing for the first time after not flossing for a while and then brushing with a brand new toothbrush is an exercise in masochism

I sure do love when I get new floss/a new toothbrush and then absolutely fuck up my gums

Rowan's Witchy Tips #7: Do not trust the friendly white woman who insists her magic works through the medium of an ASMR youtube video. Just... please, learn how to do meditation and cleansing and whatnot on your own. There is absolutely no way those videos are reliable

[oh no what if this becomes the guide]

Rowan's Witchy Tips #6: Do you have no idea what's going on when people talk about witchcraft? You have to pierce the veil first, you goober. There's probably a guide out there somewhere idk

Rowan's Witchy Tips #5: Nobody I know will actually take Tip #4 seriously, so here's a crash course:

1) brush up on your fundamentals
2) have a plan set up BEFORE you begin. What with the familiar's role be? How will they achieve that role? Where will they get their energy from?
3) gather up materials— at the bare minimum you will want an object of some significance to you that will store the necessary 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍 𝖌𝖔𝖔.
4) Charge up your 𝖌𝖔𝖔 𝖇𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖞 over the course of several weeks
5) do the thing

Rowan's Witchy Tips #4: Making a metaphysical familiar is tough business. Make sure you're prepared for the task, and know what you're doing beforehand.

Unfortunately for them, butch werewolves are in this season

In all seriousness though I've been feminine my entire life and for the most recent fifth of it transphobes have been trying to convince me that I'm some sort of ultramasculine werewolf looking motherfucker

When I was baby: photos of me wearing a dress
When I'm a kid: Feminine face, long eyelashes, almost exclusively friends with girls, plays with glitter tamagotchis and littlest pet shop
When I'm a teen: gangly, even LONGER eyelashes, hair down my shoulders
Me when I'm an adult: cute glasses gay, fluffy with big boobs, wide hips, have been femme for actual years

Transphobes, somehow: wow you could never pass. you'll get clocked from a mile away if you try to piss

Rowan's Witchy Tips #3.1: If you use witchcraft as an excuse to not wear a mask in public I *will* punch you in the face and then say a grabblesnorp did it

Rowan's Witchy Tips #3: Basic shielding is good for you. A simple barrier around your living space will deter all manner of bugaboos and grabblesnorps.

It is time for nap

A secret that has gone undisclosed for generations... I have big tiddy

Wow okay I do NOT like that selfie. Here's a better one. (Shirt says "Be Happy")