My brand of #AuDHD means figuring out the schedule of the cleaning people at the office so that I never see any of them when I arrive. It’s not that I hate you. It’s that I can’t deal with any #humans before I’ve had a chance to settle in for the morning. And even then, barely. Just keep your #energy fangs to yourselves until I can #mentally and #emotionally #prepare for you. ‘Kay?
@btaroli @actuallyautistic I’m fine with people around me in the morning so long as they don’t talk to me.
@cadenza Not talking helps, for sure. They insist on saying, “hello,” though… 🤣🤷🏻♂️🔪🙀 #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic
@btaroli @actuallyautistic hello, I can handle. Hello is basically the price you pay for living in society, unfortunately. You do have to acknowledge people. It’s just anything beyond formulaic greetings I can’t handle. I had a boyfriend who would talk at me ad nauseum as soon as I woke up and I think he did that deliberately because he knew how much that would mess me up. I would beg him to just go watch tv and leave me alone.
@cadenza On sone level I get this. But I get really irritated with the formulaic, it’s disturbs us if you’re quiet, or don’t ack our ping. So when someone asks me how I’m doing I tell them. Oh you didn’t want to know? Then don’t ask. I’m ok with the quiet. 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve gotten very intolerant of these sort of niceties, and it was way before #COVID19. #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic
@btaroli @cadenza @actuallyautistic oh, very much this. Or. "Did you find everything ok?" .. I've answered honestly many times, it's 100% a deer in headlights response.. like, you may be required to ask this by your employer, so I won't give you any flack over it... But we would both be happier if you didn't.
@cinja @btaroli @cadenza @actuallyautistic Long ago, when I was still unaware that I was masking, I learned how to answer these questions with what they want to hear. It has always caused a twinge in me because I was actively choosing to lie.
This masking, along with other similar examples, has trained me to lie in circumstances where I shouldn't, and ignore that twinge. (The twinge has never gone away, at least.)
Now that I'm working on unmasking, this is one of my first targets: telling the truth, even if it's uncomfortable for others. (It has always been more comfortable for me to be honest...)
@stephenczetty @cinja @btaroli @cadenza @actuallyautistic I appreciated the distinction described by Sarah Kurchak in the memoir of her journey to unmasking, which considered lying thru the lens of surviving and being safe. And once we start unmasking, we can still give ourselves permission to lie in order to protect ourselves or others. I also evolved into a very good liar, and trying to avoid careless lies… continued…
@seanwithwords That sort of distinction comes up a lot in discussions of #ComingOut and #privilege. If you’re empowered to unmask then yay. But we still make choices depending on our various situations and circumstances.
#masking #LGBTQ #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @stephenczetty @cinja @cadenza @actuallyautistic
@btaroli @stephenczetty @cinja @cadenza @actuallyautistic exactly. I'd always felt very guilty and shameful bc I'd learned a simplistic (catholic) view of "lying". there are so many values and needs that sit higher on the priority list than thinking about how closely our language-based communication "matches" the truth as it's accepted by an oppressive system and the moral majority
dammit
then there's lying about how stole the cookies, which is never acceptable
@seanwithwords @btaroli @stephenczetty @cinja @cadenza @actuallyautistic
When you're sitting there with chocolate-smeared lips, and a lap full of cookie crumbs, it's nearly impossible to lie about who stole the cookies. Well, lie convincingly, anyway.
