@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Any suggestions on what to do when your 8 year old is having a meltdown and physically attacking you or their mum? We’ve tried a lot but nothing seems to help, she just wants to hit mum and hurt her.
@Darren @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
Darren does she know what triggers her meltdowns? I don't have children so you might not find my advice particularly useful, but as a rule once I'm in meltdown state there's nothing anyone (including myself) can do.
So it's all about working on improving interoception and self awareness to know when I'm getting close to the edge, and being able to tap out of a situation if I know it's going to deregulate me.
The very worst thing is knowing that I have no autonomy and can't leave a situation.
@Zumbador @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I don’t think she knows as such, but we’re just starting to notice triggers. She’s only just been diagnosed and we’ve been seeing traits for a year or so, so this is all new to all of us at the moment.
A bit trigger at the moment seems to be disappointment. If she doesn’t get what she wants (to do an activity, first go at something, and toy etc) then often that leads to her starting to spiral and we can sometimes head that off.
I don't know your daughter, so I can't be certain, but...
"trigger at the moment seems to be disappointment. If she doesn’t get what she wants"
A trigger I've had to learn to deal with is having plans change, with no notice. It's not "not getting what I want", it's "I planned for this, went over everything mentally, had it all laid out, and suddenly things are back in disarray - an unknown". Unknown is scary, and blank.
I think I explained that badly, so I'll try again.
Everything I do is planned out, and mentally rehearsed, even a trip to the grocery store. If something changes - a road is blocked off, the store re-arranged, *anything* - it short-circuits me until I can re-map. Until I found out I was autistic, I thought everyone did that, but no, it's just me and people like me, and other people don't get how much it throws me off. They see it as no big deal, for me it's epic.
@ScottSoCal @Darren @actuallyautistic
With me it is similar, but a little different.
It mostly depends on the "emotional resources" I have left.
Grocery store is okay, I know where everything is etc. anyway, there is no music (good) and reasonable sound design (very good).
If a plan (like meeting certain people) that already will costs me energy is disrupted or changed at short notice, that is deadlock territory.
Or when a lot of stuff comes together (migraines, muscle pain, discussion with annoying person).
I would assume that someone who comes home from work or school or something similar needs to recharge first for a bit.
Depending on the activity/noise level at home, one might automatically keep their energy-draining "awareness"/"masking" on.
Like coming home with 8% smartphone battery, but instead of putting it on the charger, you have to answer a call first.