@actuallyautistic

I'm reflecting again about the sources of friction between my ex-wife and I.

I may have mentioned before that sometimes the friction occurred when she wanted to talk to me. I'd be deep into a task in our house, and she'd have something to tell me. She's start talking, and I had to stop what I was doing, and ask her to repeat from the start, because I do not have the capability for multitasking that she has.

I probably looked slightly annoyed when this happened, because, well, I was in the middle of a task, and that task was being interrupted. She did not like my annoyance. She also did not really understand why I had to ask her to repeat herself. I think she interpreted it very much like me ignoring her glares: I was deliberately not paying attention to her, when in fact my brain is wired in a way that *prevents* me from responding the way she wants.

Now, I've read accounts of autistic inertia that are *to me* rather intense. Issues with getting up or going to bed. People staying in their car for minutes prior to entering a grocery store. I don't experience any of these things.

However, I'm starting to think that I was experiencing a mild form of autistic inertia when my ex-wife wanted to talk to me, and I was absorbed by something.

Or is there another name for what I'm describing?

#AskingAutistics

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@yourautisticlife

To me it sounds like episodes of hyperfocus - what you're doing becomes everything, and the rest of the world fades away. Being pulled out of that feels (to me) almost like a physical jolt, and it is unsettling. And annoying.

@actuallyautistic

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@ScottSoCal ding ding ding!
Not long ago I was doing something and my wife told me with some urgency to do something else. It annoyed me but because of her intensity I changed gears and went to the basement to do what she said. I did it, came upstairs, and started a 3d thing. An hour or so later I caught hell because the garage door was open and the door to the house was unlocked.

She had caught me when I stepped inside to get something, was turning to go back when she flipped a switch.

@dbc3

I don't know if this would help you - it certainly helped me - but you can get a replacement switch for your garage door that will close it automatically after a defined period (I used 10 minutes) if no one is moving in and out of the garage. I also got a deadbolt that locks itself after 3 minutes. No more forgotten doors and locks.

@ScottSoCal thanks. Closing the door is not a chronic issue; just that time she interrupted at exactly the wrong moment. But it was an example of myriad such things, most of which just annoy me while the interrupter is unaware they just caused me to waste time trying to figure out what the heck I'd been doing

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