There's so much of like, stuff that's very hard for me to describe in just, how I perceived everything growing up, that I feel like people used as reason to believe I had autism. And I don't experience those things anymore (or maybe just not to the same degree) and use that to kind of say "okay maybe I don't have it", but I'm still wondering?
It's like everything was... fuzzy. The world around me and all the people in it making up this vast uninterpretable space, and I didn't know how to interface with it at all. Like I was almost just a body floating through the situations I was in very unintuitively.
And so it's like, is that an indicator? And if so, does me not experiencing it to the same degree that I used to, that other people still do, mean that I don't have it?
And with certain people I've met who have it, it seems like that's how it affects them, but continuously, whereas it felt like I eventually painstakingly crawled my way to being able to understand things around me, now with much more clarity.